The Detox Day
Nothing out here is trying to entertain you
Here is the whole pitch and it fits in one line: nothing on this boat is trying to impress you. Nobody hands you a wristband. There is no queue, no soundtrack piped through a speaker, no scheduled show, and no script for your captain to read off. Twenty-odd people is a full boat out here — our tiki boat’s capacity is 26 and the Island Hopper carries 19, so that is the largest crowd you will stand in all day. What you get instead is an engine at cruising speed, wind, a great many birds, and eventually a beach in the Ten Thousand Islands with nobody standing on it.
Now the part we are not going to soften. Orlando is the longest drive on this list, and not by a little. Our Naples dock — Naples Bay Resort & Marina, 1500 5th Avenue South — runs 3 hours 20 to 3 hours 55 from central Orlando, down I-4 and then south on I-75. San Marco Marina in Goodland sits about another 35 minutes past Naples on the southeast tip of Marco Island, which puts it at 3 hours 55 to 4 hours 30. That gap matters, because the shelling and wild-island trips leave from Goodland. Round trip, that is eight hours or more in a car.
So here is our real recommendation, and it costs us nothing to make: for most Orlando families this is properly an overnight. Come down in the afternoon, sleep somewhere near whichever dock your trip leaves from, and board in the morning with everyone rested. We take no cut of that and we are not tied to any property. If it truly has to be one day, take a morning trip and only a morning trip — a sunset cruise puts you northbound on I-75 in full dark at the end of an already enormous day, with tired kids in the back. We would rather say that here than at the dock.
- Longest drive here: 3 hr 55 – 4 hr 30 to Goodland
- Our Naples dock is closer — 3 hr 20 – 3 hr 55
- For most Orlando families, this is an overnight
- A morning trip is the only honest day-trip version
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